“She lights a cigarette, leans against the counter and watches her son eat. This will be his last year in children’s sizes. He has his father’s head, his father’s way of eating steadily, neatly, the working of the jaw, the set of the shoulder and something about the eyes – though her son’s are brown – the same long lashes, and that open quality, the focused unawareness that is masculine innocence. She can almost see the face of the man emerging from that of the boy. Her gaze is a thing of substance. Between a mother’s eyes and her son’s face, there is not air. There is something invisible and invincible. Even though – or because – he will go out into the world, she will never lose her passion to protect him. Girls are different. They know more. And they don’t leave you.” –Ann Marie MacDonald, The Way the Crow Flies
This year went by far too quickly. This boy is growing, far too quickly. It’s bittersweet, as any parent knows. I’m so thankful that he is healthy and thriving. So thankful. But there is always a tiny part of me that wishes I could freeze time. Just keep him my baby for a little while longer. I’m very attached to this cuddle bug 😉
I never imagined a baby could be so determined and fearless! It’s amazing to watch. And hilarious. And sometimes scary. He certainly keeps me on my toes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope he is always this curious, determined and fearless. I have a good feeling he will be 🙂
And so, happy 1st birthday my beautiful Julian. You are so special to me and our family. This past year with you has been beyond incredible and I can’t wait for the adventures this next one brings. xo
Our beautiful Luca turns three years old Sunday. I don’t know what is about this birthday, but its got me all sorts of emotional. Time moves so quickly and no matter how present you try to remain, you can never beat it…
Most of my personal entries on this blog are about my boys. While this certainly isn’t a “mommy blog” (and never will be), it is a space where I can share some of the things that are inspiring me. During these past three years, nothing has inspired me as much as this boy. It wasn’t until I had Luca that I started to write about things that made me happy, rather than what wasn’t. Celebrating even the smallest things have brought a positivity in my life that didn’t exist before. He has taught me that the most ordinary moments can be the most beautiful. He has inspired me to work harder at realizing my dreams, to be an example to look to in case he ever feels stuck. But most importantly, he has inspired me to love stronger.
I have cherished these past three years with Luca more than any time in my life. Our little intellect, his head always buried in some sort of book 🙂 Such a sweet, affectionate and curious soul. I’m so proud to be his mom. Happy birthday my sweet boy. We love you so much.
When Luca was a baby, I used to have to trick him into napping on me. Don’t get me wrong, he enjoyed cuddling as much as most babies do, but he was also an independent sleeper right from the start. While everyone around me would scream how lucky I was, part of me wished he needed me a little bit more, in that respect.
Julian, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. While he is also content to sleep on his own (it took him a little while longer to get there, but that’s a different post), he remains just as happy (if not more), sleeping on me. Anytime, anywhere. We seem to share a passion for napping and I absolutely love it 😉
About a zillion times a day Charlie and I will look over to each other and silently marvel at how amazing this boy is. Before Julian was born we would joke about what a tough act Luca is to follow (half joke, half serious). And here we are, with two distinct, amazing characters that seem to compliment one another perfectly. Watching their relationship form and grow over the past several months has been one of my greatest experiences as a parent. They bring so much joy and life to into our home and I’m so thankful for them. Every minute, of every day (Well, most minutes 😉
Happy seven months our sweet Julian Luna! You boys are everything to us.
I’m not sure when it started, but Luca has this thing now where he cries every time Julian does. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, he will throw in an extremely sharp shriek to go along with it. He will also chant, “It’s ok Juj, it’s ok Juj!” over and over (while still crying), until Julian stops. There are days when I can’t hold in my laughter (sorry Luca) and then there are days where I could almost cry with them (parents, you feel my pain).
(He sure is cute though).
Last night was my first Web Development and Design class. I’m taking it as one of the required electives for my program. Web design is so out of my comfort zone and to be honest, I’m slightly petrified. I’m the most technologically challenged person I know. I am, however, extremely excited at the prospect of expanding my knowledge in this area. Not only will it allow for more opportunity in my career, but hopefully the little space I’ve created here will benefit as well.
The other day I purged 75% of my closet. No joke. My intention was only to do a bit of spring cleaning, but the process kind of took on a life of it’s own. Before I knew it, I was looking at more empty hangers than ones with clothes attached. And you know what? It felt really good. Don’t get me wrong, I am a girlie girl through and through. I (unapologetically) love fashion and I love clothes. But I’m at a point in my life where, more than ever, I’m seeking quality over quantity. In all areas. It’s definitely going to take a bit of discipline on my part, but I’d rather buy a great piece every so often than have a collection of things I’ve settled for.
Also, I haven’t had any sugar since last Saturday! I feel fantastic.
Have a great weekend!
Our sweet Julian is three months old today. I love this stage so much. Yes, newborns are precious (cuddles!), but for me there is nothing better than those open mouthed smiles, sweet coos and excited shrieks. This is the start of all of his first year milestones, the moments that fill me with the kind of happiness only a child can bring. It also leaves me quite nostalgic, so when people warn me not to do certain things that will spoil my baby (like having him nap on me), I do it anyway. Because it won’t always be like this. Not with this angel I waited so long for.
Shortly after Luca turned one I had an ectopic pregnancy. It’s not something I’ve shared with many people because I know how common miscarriages are and I know that there are women out there who have real struggles conceiving. But if I can be honest with you, that was a difficult time for me. I’ve never felt more panic and sadness than I did searching that ultrasound screen for a baby who was no longer there. And instead of allowing my body (and mind) the time it needed to heal, I put all of my energy into conceiving again. I’m not the most patient person, but more than anything I wanted to rid myself of the emptiness I felt. By the time I did get pregnant again, it felt like I had waited a lifetime.
Every time I look at Julian, I am reminded of how important it is to have faith. Faith that your time will come and even if it doesn’t turn out the way you planned, there is something just as great waiting in the distance. Everything up to this point was more than worth it, because I can’t imagine what life would be like without this boy.
Julian, you are everything to me. I love you.