It was about three months after Luca was born that I started fantasizing about having a second child. By the time he was two months old, he was sleeping through the night and that crazy, no sleep, what-the-heck-am-I-doing phase seemed to fade much quicker than expected. While I am sure having a dream boat of a baby made me much more receptive to having another so soon, it had more to do with something I felt. And that something surprised me.
I always knew deep in my heart I would try to have children despite the fact I spent many years going back and forth with the idea. It’s not that I don’t care for children (I find babies ridiculously cute and want to squish them all), it just didn’t feel like it would be a deal breaker for me. What I failed to realize back then is that I couldn’t possibly know how I would feel until I was there, in the mix of it all.
There are so many beautiful things in life that make us happy. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that only a select few of these things have really touched my core. You know the feeling I’m trying to describe right? It’s how I feel about my mom. My brothers. My husband. It’s how I feel when I write. And it’s how I feel about motherhood. I love everything about it. I love the good days and I love the bad days just as much because those are the days that continue to shape me into a better person. I am the best version of myself when I am with my son. And I really like that person.
Baby #2, it feels like it has taken forever for us to get here. We had to go through a little heartache in the meantime, but I appreciate you that much more because of it. To be able to do this again, to have two precious faces to kiss and two little characters grow in our home.. goodness. Life really is beautiful.